Remember when we used to be excited about smartphones?

@dozba nobody ever said life was fair

Herring in sour cream, large tube of KY jelly, M&M's (Warning: absolutely no brown ones). http://t.co/eKl0Uldmxm

Our old friend C. Elegans manifests in cyberspace http://t.co/42Vu8KawYI

"in a word, humility." http://t.co/yMRyi1N0vn

What ocean sand looks like. Magnified 250 times. http://t.co/ZpY76fr16n

@codinghorror ironically enough, I follow #ironically

Ok but how much #sqlhelp can you provide in 140 chars? All links to pastebin or something? Keep it on stack overflow or dba.se, man!

Does anyone actually browse or follow hashtags? I have only ever used them #ironically

Qwerty has a different history than we've been told, plus Kalq! http://t.co/jkQu6EE7hb

Confession: sometimes I mix up Stripe and Square.

If people storm out of our keynote and professionals call you names, you're doing it right. http://t.co/Fk8fEp7kJ1

Passed a "smile, your parents chose life" billboard in Iowa. I mentally added, ".. and so did Hitler's."

@kristianfrisk no we have decided that is not a strategy we are going to pursue

If you need hilarious ideas for your SSIDs http://t.co/MgNpU08xPN (via @travis_schlafke)

"I’ll put it up there with the arrival of Joby, my wedding, the Panic trip to Hawaii, and playing Super Mario 64." http://t.c…

#FF Follow @BountyBot (my own creation) for links to new and interesting Stack Overflow bounty questions.

Would better forum software make the internet a nicer place? http://t.co/TLWRSJiZQZ

So many human beings on our trips now. http://t.co/fTxznYswAa

Listen to 0.8.6 - #Discourse, #Ruby and more with Jeff Atwood / @codinghorror http://t.co/0Xj3LogF9e

Every time I read Miss Manners I fall in love with her all over again. Such a delight. http://t.co/QIQw3uF5Rg

Wow our plane out of Vegas has a born on date of 11/2012. Newest I have ever been on. No chance of bitter plane crash face!

Django Unchained was great, but can we have some rule that Tarantino can't be in his own movies ever, ever again? Couldn't stop cringing.

Blogged: "Eliminating my trivial inconveniences building Discourse" http://t.co/YkU9LuPzhe

The real story of this data is how dedicated hardware is 6 to 10+ times faster than EC2 large #theclown http://t.co/Q5JZXnPQBd

The Prophets of Oak Ridge, lyric and beautiful http://t.co/gP8KEl7Mto

This reads like something out of The Onion: "The history of Taco Bell's disruptive faux cheese-dusted taco" http://t.co/xA8lZZv…

Developers Get Better With Age http://t.co/A3P8fFnBNe #stackoverflow @codinghorror

@eableson needs to happen in real time on the phone, then YES!

HULK TWELVE WIVES SAY HULK HAVE NO FEELINGS. HULK HURT INSIDE TOO, FROM GYPSY SPELL. YOU PROBABLY NOT UNDERSTAND. HIGH…

Mom explains The Matrix http://t.co/hseLgG6ZUV

I trust you all bought a copy of Game Dev Tycoon because seriously how awesome was http://t.co/X1tNuDFuyl also: game is 100% JS on Chromium

Guys I am worried there may not be enough Borat and Hulk parody twitter accounts out there

How Stack Exchange is made http://t.co/suwBPlBKL9

In my mind it is already gone. But first, penny slots and buffets!

I could destroy ALL OF THIS

Did you ever wish you had an imaginary bazooka and could blow up everything you saw? But not the people. Ok mayyyybe some of the people too.

Las Vegas, I am in y.. no, let's stop this bizarre sexualization of cities, man

So great. Well done @hackerschool! “@Paradosso: No feigning surprise: https://t.co/rrfcMIaURr”

I am moderately pro Google Glasses but I think it will take over a decade for this to get close to being right. We're on the Newton at best.

http://t.co/qo3W7sUtHK is kind of the dictionary definition of no brainer.

It's May 1st, or as we call it at @Harmonix, Jonathan Coulton Day. He's got 14 songs in the RBN. Check them out now! http://t…

Use a Software Bug to Win Video Poker? That’s a Federal Hacking Case
http://t.co/54XEvUfdzs

Sometimes I like when @joshm gets mad and causes a fuss. This is one of those times: FWD.us Breaks Its First Promise htt…

Dr. Demento documentary. Kickstarter. 62 hours left. http://t.co/y9eGVP9BHX I used to hide a transistor radio under my pill…

I do this too but then we actually go to McDonald's because seriously screw you guys https://t.co/Y1QtRy0t9d

LoL team talks about reporting bad behavior but why was the honor system (reporting good behavior) not mentioned? http://t.co/otgDtjWMmu

Let's Free Congress: beautiful visualization of the corrupting influence of money in politics and how to change it   http://…

@codinghorror Friend of mine with kids once described every outing as, "A military operation... That always ends in def…

It's like, we don't travel any more, WE GO TO WAR <runs out of room, screaming>

the logistics of taking an airplane trip with twin babies and a toddler are effing terrifying.

Proceeds from http://t.co/2xyDY97lb3 go directly to a programming club at he National Museum Of Computing and Bletchley Park math workshops

Reordering my printed checks. Related: https://t.co/z5FH5jyYZ2 http://t.co/j2UTavWp7s

day long hackathon in NYC ... to make young people’s online experiences more civil http://t.co/k4iIFAcr90

What happens when pirates play a game development simulator and then go bankrupt because of piracy? http://t.co/X1tNuDFuyl

How do I deal with the fact that I'm awesome and everyone around me sucks? http://t.co/p8VEifOzjz

question for @Greenspeak: did PopCap make other games before Plants vs Zombies. Follow up question: why?

The best part of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo when he's setting up for torture, and it looks bad, then he puts on the Enya and s**t gets real

When your CEO says "I see a limited future for tablet computers", I hear "fire me before I can do any more damage."

@dozba have you considered taking it to the NEXT level?

IDCLIP There, now nothing will get in my way today.

people who ask "why did Stack Overflow get so strict" fail to understand the powerful long term effects of a reputation system.

So You Don't Want to be a Programmer After All http://t.co/Sil4IpHzGz

If it takes more effort to complain about something than fix it, just frigging fix it.

Why would a fly ever land on something that looks like that? http://t.co/viMSb86blr

revisiting "How to Talk to Humans" http://t.co/6hGC2LfeBn

Also, my condolences, Lumberjacks and Reporters (Newspaper).

I'm only a Software Engineer because I could not land my dream job as an Actuary. http://t.co/zVBYxbwvDt

The project is 90% done! Now we just need to do the other half.

Inmates Now Reviewing Prisons on Yelp. http://t.co/kKwP1BhhqV

I raise your "Three Wolf Moon" and give you "Three Walker No Moon" http://t.co/45VTkHeOfC via @reddit

Want to take the most amazing trip of your life? Have kids. Unless by "trip" you meant actually leaving your house, ever.

Meanwhile, in Russia http://t.co/BHQLSBTjE6

Marc John Jefferies and PeoplePC are still around? Also, people still use dial up Internet?!?! http://t.co/CzKWkg72gG

Golf: the classiest way to avoid responsibility

“I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable” http://t.co/EcBbVcBwCV

What have we learned? Never settle for cucumber, people. It ain't right.

Two monkeys were paid unequally: http://t.co/r6POqAjNYD

Stay gold, ponyboy. http://t.co/E9ZRuSKU25

Ever visit a product website and think "there are *thirty* people building this horseshit?"

Did you know that @superdalgas hails from the apple capital of the world? Look it up! http://t.co/dNZ5J33U55

"Sorry Youtube took the sound down cause Warner's has the copyright, even though I wrote [the song]!" http://t.co/R9o0vCprVx

Stuff blowing up in slow motion never fails to entertain http://t.co/8U3JxGhWgO

Seriously loving http://t.co/bpgDzFgwhW -- when I said "let your freak flag fly" this is *exactly* what I meant http://t.co/cWBMIHe6s1

@NationalistPony @machinepickle see http://t.co/pDK2GRcV80

The bees knew it was true all along http://t.co/tZ8qqLICBB

rumor is the Xbox 720 has a full Xbox 360 on a chip (SOC) inside. I'm intrigued to find out if that turns out be true: coprocessor too!

Oh my God I'm getting a root canal on my honeymoon I hope our insurance covers it! Stupid teeth.

"Marco Arment, distraught after failing to obtain a WWDC ticket, sells his flagship iOS app and rededicates his life to Andro…

ULTIMATE PROTIP GUYS http://t.co/EwqnNGcDL3

All animals should purr. There is no downside.

♡ Copying is an act of love. Love is not subject to law. http://t.co/ZRVG7p4HOh

@howtogeek I just want a standard keyboard layout without having to do a bunch of extra work on every machine I touch

Delicious Library 3 is out. Read @ejacqui's review/interview with @wilshipley: http://t.co/1oP06vUK8S

@howtogeek keyboard layout is deal breaker for me

For the love of God, people, vaccinate your children http://t.co/pxbhxZrePn

@SecsAndCyber search buckets is not "pushing the envelope" it is broken and backwards by any sane yardstick.

I hope whoever decided to divide Windows 8 search into three "buckets" (apps / files / settings) was fired. 8.1 now has unified search.

Syntactic sugar is great, up until the point where you get semantic diabetes.